I’ve been staring at the fire for a while. It’s heat burned me. It burnt my clothes. It took my hair, it stole my mind. My mind….. or my heart? One in the same.
It slowly consumed me insidiously. Like a small leak. It’ll creep in, take little bits of you…. you feel something is off but can’t quite put your finger on it. Slowly, little bits are pulled from your body…. soon, you notice large piece of yourself missing….
does anyone else see this?
Who am I!? Am I crazy? Am I really what they said? I can’t be. I know what I saw, heard, tasted and felt. Can anyone see this? Will anyone understand this? How will I explain this when I can’t even explain it to myself?
Grab the water, douse the flame…. it’s not so easy. The fire is out of control. Grab a blanket… smother it out. Run. Run. RUNNNNN! Run away and do not fucking stop until you can no longer feel the heat of the fore that has been taking your life bit by bit.
Do not look back.
Stop. Take a breath. Take a look in the mirror. Who is there? She is still there. Wash her face, brush her hair, eat….. I don’t recognize her but I know it’s her and I wipe the war from her face. She is a diamond. Strong, resilient and able.
Climb. Climb to the top of the mountain and stand there and look. You can fight the demons that try to come for your soul- EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. She may be broken but she is fierce.
She will NEVER return to where she came from. Ever.