Parenting Joys and Struggles

Summer break, parks, anxiety… is it Fall yet? 

I love the changing of the seasons as much as the next person but I really just do not like Summer time. For one, it’s hot af here during Summer.

Children’s Museum

Kids are out of school for Summer break which means everywhere you go to take your toddler it’s over packed which in turn means anxiety for me. It’s no secret that I have anxiety and a small hatred for parks or things of that nature but add big kids and 826366373 of them in one spot and it is anything but fun for me. I have tried this week, though. I went to the Children’s Museum and I let Khloe play a bit but I can never relax for one second. I always have this feeling that someone is going to take her away from me and I have to constantly have my eye on her or be next to her. Does that get better with age? It doesn’t help that I’ve read every article written about terrible things that happen to kids that are taken. Those articles never leave my head. I’m very aware of my surroundings at all times.

Today I decided to make a trek across town (45 mins) to a cool park that had a splash pad feature as well as playground equipment that seemed super awesome! Little did I know (and I should have guessed) that it was packed to the MAX. There was hardly any room to walk. Daycares were bussing their kids in to this place. I allowed Khloe to play for 10 mins. In that ten minutes she managed to climb to the top of the large slide (my eyes on her the whole time) then a quick second and I couldn’t see her. I ran my ass up to the top and said in my head “this is it we are leaving.”  I packed Khloe back into our wagon and left. She was mad. I don’t blame her but my heart just couldn’t handle all those people, big kids being big kids and the uncertainty of it all in my mind. I didn’t even get a picture because I didn’t want to lose sight of her for even the slightest second. Even writing this it makes me emotional because I don’t think this is ok. I wish I didn’t have this much anxiety about being in public with her. Despite her typical toddler tantrums, she’s a good girl and deserves to have some fun. Momma just can’t handle parks during this time of year. Maybe when kids are back in school? Ugh. 

Children’s Museum

I won’t stop trying. I always get a wild hair to try new things with her and sometimes it’s hit or miss. Today was definitely a giant miss. I’m not traveling that far for a park again.  Perhaps as she gets older I’ll relax more or figure out a way to manage this anxiety better. 

Next week we are going to hit up the zoo. Luckily we have a pass so if it’s just too much, it’s no big deal to leave and maybe wait….. a couple months until school is back in session 🤣😂.

Is it Fall yet? Ha ha ha 

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